It’s been an incredible journey. It’s been exciting, arousing, and satisfying, but at the same time I’ve been a little bit apprehensive, cautious, and slow to take the necessary steps to enjoy my feminine side.
I’ve grown so much since buying my first pair of panties, and the embarrassment that came along with actually walking up to the rack and picking them up and imagining what size I would need. Not to mention, barely being able to respond to the lady that asked me if I needed any help. Then there was my second trip to shop for panties and one girl walking by clearing her throat, more or less pointing out that I shouldn’t be there. For the longest of time, I was so embarrassed from just going into a store and making the purchase, and I never realized that I was reliving the experience afterwards and getting addicted to all the different reactions.
When I was finally on my own, and well away from the eyes of friends, I borrowed popular mail order catalog and after a few days got the nerve up to place my first order. The girl on the phone could tell I was embarrassed, and she got me through the awkwardness of what I was doing. She even managed to take advantage of my vulnerability and get me to add several more things to my order. Today it seems kind of silly, but at the time, I asked to get their catalogs in the mail, in case I wanted to order again. She kind of giggled when she told me that by placing the order, I would indeed be added to their mailing list and I had nothing to worry about.
I was excited, I kept checking every day after work to see if UPS had delivered my panties yet. On my way home, from work, I would stop at the post office and pick up my mail. Then one evening there was a notice that I needed to stop during business hours to pick up a package. Suddenly I realized, that my panties were not coming UPS, I was going to have to face someone and pick them up. The next day things just got more and more complicated. When I arrived at the post office the girl couldn’t find my package. When she asked the other girl where it was she pointed to a package with the company’s logo on it that I had ordered from. I was so bashful and nervous when I took the package from her, there was no doubt in my mind that the two of them knew my secret.
It seemed obvious to me that all six or seven girls that worked there either knew my secret or soon would. Every day more and more mail order catalogs would show up, and since I didn’t have a secret at the post office or most likely in town, I began ordering from most of them. It wasn’t long and all the girls that worked there could quickly find my packages even though they were never in a box, and were always in a bag from a women’s clothing retailer.
What I found increasingly strange was I had begun fantasizing about what the girls thought of me, and my new hobby.
enjoying what i'm doing and what is to come!